How to Break Up With Your Driving Instructor: 9 Tips For Saying Goodbye

It’s not me, it’s you…

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Think it’s time to end things? This post gives you 9 helpful tips on how to break up with your driving instructor.

how to break up with your driving instructor

Is it rude to change your driving instructor?

Breaking up is never easy, but it can be incredibly awkward when it comes to your driving instructor.

You may be worried about being rude and feel like you don’t have enough valid reasons to end things.

Related: Is It Time To Get A New Driving Instructor?

However, whether you have 10,000 reasons to break up or none at all, it’s your right to decide to end things if you want to.

And you certainly don’t need to be worried about being rude.

Everyone has different learning styles and personalities, so it’s normal to want an instructor who is a better fit for you. Clinging to a ‘bad’ instructor might be the one thing holding you back from getting your driver’s license sooner.

So please don’t let worries about being awkward or rude stop you from doing what’s best for you.

Now, the question is — how do you do it?

How do you actually break up with your instructor?

The cliche “It’s not you, it’s me“, probably won’t work in this scenario.

So what about if you don’t say anything at all?

Is it okay to ghost your instructor?

Below are 9 surefire tips to answer all your questions and help you figure out exactly how to break up with your driving instructor.

We’ve also included some bonus examples of what you can say when breaking up, so be sure to check those out!

How To Break Up With Your Driving Instructor

1. Define your relationship

The nature of your relationship with your driving instructor plays a huge role in figuring out how to break up with them.

So, step number one is to be clear on what your relationship with your driving instructor is.

Here are some things to consider:

  • Were you two on good terms?
  • Did you have a budding friendship?
  • Was your instructor rude, impatient, or disrespectful?
  • How long have you been doing lessons with them?

Once you’ve defined your relationship, you can decide on the best course of action.

For example:

  • If your instructor was disrespectful, it’s totally okay to ghost them if you want to. This is up to you, but a disrespectful instructor probably won’t appreciate a polite and respectful break-up anyway.
  • For an instructor you’ve been doing lessons with for a while or might even consider a friend, you should definitely let them know why you’ve decided to end things and wish them all the best. If appropriate you can get them a card or token to show your appreciation.
  • If you’ve only done a few lessons with your instructor and just don’t think they’re teaching style is best for you, a polite and short break up would probably be most appropriate.

2. Be Honest and Direct

Tip number two shouldn’t be a surprise.

As we mentioned before, it’s your right to end things with your driving instructor if you feel like it, so there’s no need to lie about why you’ve made your decision.

The best way to go about it is to be honest and direct.

Maybe you never clicked with them or their teaching style isn’t for you.

Maybe you feel like you aren’t making enough progress or they’re too impatient with you.

Whatever the reason, there’s no need to beat around the bush.

Tell them exactly how you feel and what it is that’s making you uncomfortable.

If you feel bad about expressing how you really feel, think about it like this: in the long run, this will help your instructor be better for their future students.

However, if your reason for breaking up is personal or private, don’t feel pressured into telling your instructor. Simply let them know you want to end things.

2. Be Respectful

Your driving instructor is a person too — so always try to keep in mind that they have feelings.

Getting emotional, yelling, or saying insulting things just isn’t called for.

Instead, take the time to explain why you’ve decided to end things (if necessary), and always be respectful.

It’ll go a long way in helping to make the situation less awkward for both of you.

3. Plan Your Break-Up Speech

It’s always good to plan ahead, and the same goes for breaking up with your driving instructor.

Think about what you want to say beforehand so that things don’t get awkward when you’re having the conversation.

Don’t be shy to practice with someone else or in the mirror if you want to!

You should also think about some possible things your driving instructor may say, so you can plan your responses.

This will ensure that you never find yourself at a loss for words.

4. Use ‘I’ Statements

According to, studies have shown that “I-statements” reduce hostility and defensiveness and that “you-statements” can provoke anger.

Using “you-statements” such as “You’re not teaching me enough” or “You’re not helping me improve” can come off as aggressive and hostile which will lead your instructor to be defensive.

At this point, things can quickly go south.

Instead, try to use “I-statements” such as “I feel like I’m not making enough progress” or “I want to take a break from this right now”.

This will make the conversation more relaxed and productive.

5. Be Firm

Some driving instructors won’t take no for an answer (red flag!!) and may try to convince you to keep doing lessons with them.

If this happens to you, make sure to stay firm in your decision and politely explain that it’s best for both of you if the lessons come to an end.

Don’t let guilt or feeling sorry for your instructor change your mind.

You need to do what’s best for you!

You should never allow yourself to be uncomfortable to please your driving instructor.

Don’t worry — they’ll get over it.

6. Bring Someone With You

If you’re feeling anxious or scared about breaking up with your driving instructor, it may help to bring someone along for moral support.

This could be a friend, family member, or even a trust-worthy observer.

Having someone there will make it less awkward and ensure that you’re safe if things go left.

7. Break Up In A Public Place

If you’re really worried about the possible reactions from your driving instructor, then it’s best to break up with them in a public place.

This is especially important if you can’t follow tip #6 and bring someone with you.

In public, it’ll be easier for someone to intervene if things go wrong and it’ll also make sure that you feel safe when ending things.

If you can’t break up in a public place, a respectful call or text will be just fine.

8. Timing Is Key

The time you choose to say your parting words to your driving instructor matters as well.

If you say it just before your last class, things might be awkward during your last lesson.

So, if you’re breaking up on your last lesson with them, it’ll probably be best to do it at the end of your session, so you can avoid any uncomfortable silences.

9. Don’t Rush Into Anything

You don’t have to rush into getting a new driving instructor immediately after breaking up with your current one — take the time you need to reflect on what went wrong and what you’d like to look for in a new one.

Also, take time to think about what you may have done wrong.

Related: Is It Time To Get A New Driving Instructor? Or Are You The Problem?

Maybe you really were a bit too sensitive to their constructive criticism or you didn’t listen to their instructions.

The last thing you want is to jump into something and end up making the same mistakes all over again.

Bonus: What To Say When Breaking Up With Your Driving Instructor

Need some inspiration? Below are 6 examples of what to say when breaking up with your driving instructor.

  • “I just wanted to let you know that this will be my last lesson with you. Thank you so much for your time, I will definitely remember what you’ve taught me.”
  • “It was fun learning from you, but I’ve decided to switch instructors and get a different perspective on driving.”
  • “I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t think I’m progressing as fast as I want to. I appreciate all your help, but I think it’s best if we end things here.”
  • “I’ve realized that you’re someone who likes to cover concepts quickly, but I take a little more time to grasp things. I’ve decided to try learning with someone who moves at a slower pace. Thank you so much for your time.”
  • “I think we can both agree that we aren’t the best fit. I just wanted to let you know that I don’t think we should continue lessons.”
  • “I appreciate all your help and guidance, but I decided to look for an instructor who is a better fit for me. Again, thank you so much for your time.”


Breaking up with a driving instructor might be awkward, but it’s important to remember your safety and comfort should always come first!

Don’t stay with a ‘bad’ instructor just because you don’t know how to end things or you don’t want to hurt their feelings.

The tips above will help you learn how to break up with your instructor so you can move on and find an instructor who best suits your needs.

Related: The 7 Qualities of A Good Driving Instructor

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